Friday, February 25, 2011

How to Launch a New Interest

On Wednesday, I noticed two pretty little birds flying around the planters on our deck. They were smaller than robins, primarily black with white underparts. I have never been a bird watcher but these birds piqued my interest. Attempts to identify them on the internet fell flat so I am off to the library to see what I can find out.

This plan reminded me to share my favorite way to nurture a new personal or business interest or hobby--magazines. Books a great for intense research but magazines give us small bits of digestible information. Once I have explored some magazines on my new interest at the library, I decide on one that I would like to receive regularly to sustain and develop my knowledge and identity. Receiving a monthly reminder as a subscriber is a great way to accept the the concept that, "I am a birdwatcher" -- a photographer, or a vegetarian. What new interest would you like to learn about?

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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Did you know there was a god of words?

One of my favorite websites is dailywritingtips.com. Today that site taught me another interesting fact:

In Greek mythology Hermes, son of Zeus and Maia, was not just the patron god of thieves, merchants, and boundaries. He was also a god of science, art, speech, eloquence, and writing.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

It's Not Too Late

Aging with Grace, by David Snowdon Ph.D. includes this among many inspiring stories. Sister Nicolette, at age 93, had outlived all of her classmates. Snowdon asked her why she was "the last nun standing." Her reply was that she had an exercise program, walking several miles every day. He then inquired when she had begun this practice and learned that she started at age 70!

There is hope for couch potatoes everywhere!

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Ahh! Organized

If you have never enjoyed the opportunity to work with a professional organizer, you don't know what you are missing. Well, maybe I should back up a step and say that people who are naturally organized can skip this post.

But for the rest of us, a few hours with an organizer every bit as refreshing as a day at the spa. And the results last longer. Yesterday was the second time Beth Randall of Joe Organizer visited me and worked small miracles here. If you hear yourself saying"One of these days, I've got to get organized!" call an organizer and let a pro do it! They know how and they'll help you get organized much more quickly than you could do it on your own.

PS... Nobody is paying paying me to say this... :>)

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

How to Deal with a Bad Day

Enjoy this excellent article by
creativity consultant Christine Kane.

meditating hands

Let's face it. No matter how much progress we make, we're still going to have "bad days."

You know the ones.

When the old critical voices are milling about drinking martinis in your head. You try to send them all away with your favorite powerful affirmation, but only a few of them even look up - and one of them turns away and snickers.

So, what do you do when no matter what you do, you're just icky?

Very few success-gurus or business coaches talk about the bad day. Rarer still is any discussion on the process of following your dreams or building a business and the persistence it takes to break through old patterns.

Sometimes it helps to hear someone be honest about this stuff. Not so that you can indulge in self-pity about how hard you have it. But so that when the bad day strikes, you have some leverage and you KNOW WHAT TO DO! (Or not to do!)

So, how do you get through a bad day?

Here's a few things that help me. Let them help you too...

WHAT TO REMIND YOURSELF:

1 - The icky voices do not tell the truth.

They're just your old voices coming up to feed. Do not feed them. This is what makes them stay.

2 - This is not who you are.

The voices like to tell you that this messed up person is who you really are and that the rest of the world doesn't have these same flaws.

Not true.

This is just a temporary set back. That's all.

3 - Lattes don't take the voices away. It just makes them go faster.

Bad Days are not a call to rush out to Starbucks, hoping that if you move faster, it will all go away. If there's any action that needs to be taken now, it's probably a nap.

4 - You can put off your productivity until tomorrow.

Consciously choosing to be unproductive is much more effective than spending the day wondering why you can't get anything done. It really is okay to put down your goals and to-dos for one day. You can return to them tomorrow. Today, make it your goal to consciously do nothing.

5 - Everything seems worse when you're tired or hungry.

If you are tired or hungry, that could be the primary cause of feeling bad. Eat something yummy. Take a nap. Go somewhere and sit quietly.

WHAT TO DO:

1 - Stop feeling bad about feeling bad.

If it helps, make today a container. Know that you're allowed to have this stuff and that nothing horrid is going to happen with this one day of getting thrown off.

2 - Make no decisions.

The late Richard Carlson, author and psychologist, gave this great advice: "Never make decisions when you're in a low mood." That's because low moods are a natural occurrence and that any low-mood decisions are typically not healthy. Put off all decisions when you're having a bad day.

3 - Don't read fashion magazines. Or the news.

4 - Take a 20 minute walk.

Bring a gentle affirmation along with you. On days like this you don't want to say, "I am master of the universe!!!" On days like this you want to say, "I am loved. I am precious."

5 - Don't try to FIX yourself today.

No need to rush to the Self-Help section at Borders. Maybe there are steps you can take toward being healthier in the big picture. But today, let yourself stop.

6 - Lower your standards.

If you eat a good healthy meal, be proud. If you do a little yoga, give yourself a high five. Tomorrow you can have your old high standards back and be productive and evolved and all that. Not today.

7 - Say NO to anything if it's motivated by the word "should."

This is a good rule to follow on good days too!

8 - Ask yourself what you feel like doing.

Sometimes the answer to this can be surprising. Maybe you'll want to begin a fiction audiobook and clean your closet! Maybe you'll just want a nap. Don't judge your response. Just do it. You might be surprised at how this one little bit of permission changes your state instantly!

9 - Don't do anything destructive.

Don't overdose on sugar or indulge in alcohol. Don't call anyone who drains you. It will not help.

WHAT TO BE:

Be very, very kind to yourself.

WHAT TO KNOW:

That the victory is not about not having bad days anymore. The victory is that you can get back up after having one.


Christine Kane is the Mentor to Women Who are Changing the World. She helps women uplevel their lives, their businesses and their success. Her weekly LiveCreative eZine goes out to over 12,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://christinekane.com.

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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Inspiring Women -- a one day Women's Conference

If you’re in the Chicago area and looking for a professional development conference that will inspire you, empower you, and help you effectively deal with change, different personalities and stress in the workplace, sign up for Inspiring Women – a one day Women’s Conference today!

Take charge and reap the rewards YOU deserve! Make 2011 the best year yet! This power-packed day will energize and give you the tools and strategies needed to reach YOUR Goals. As women we face different challenges than men do. This conference will address these issues that plague women today.

How is this Inspiring Women’s Conference different?
We have brought together four professional speakers and trainers to give you their insights based on their experience and knowledge not theory. Each of these outstanding women have dealt first hand with difficult challenges and will tell you how they did it.

Enhance Your Experience
Attend this conference with a friend or colleague – together you can support one another and meet your goals.

WHEN: Thursday, February 17, 2011
TIME: 8:30 AM – 4:00 PM (CT)
WHERE: Country Inn and Suites, 1837 Centre Point Circle, Naperville, IL

Click here for more information!

::: ENROLL ONLINE BY FEBRUARY 1ST & SAVE 20%! :::


Friday, December 10, 2010

No Need to Panic... Christmas Can Happen Without Me

Even though the Christmas decorations were in the stores waaay too early this year, as usual; I no longer start to panic the way I did in years past.

Beginning in her 50’s my mother began saying that she and all her contemporaries had become “Generals with no armies.” She said it a lot, and I didn’t pay too much attention. But as is often the case with “mom-wisdom,” it means more now.

Fifty-something moms are accustomed to leading the troops, planning the maneuvers, taking responsibility for those in their command. Once their troops have grown up, gone off to college, married, moved to an apartment or simply mutinied; the general can stumble around rattling her saber but it’s a pretty empty gesture.

What does all this have to do with Christmas? Well, I was the Christmas general of my family. The first of my siblings acquire a spouse, a house and offspring – an army if you will – I became the Holiday Hostess. It really was easier that way. We didn’t have to drag highchairs, playpens, and the bazillion other baby necessities to other houses.

Add to this the fact that I am a plan-ahead list-maker and my husband is a go-with-the-flow Christmas Eve shopper, it is easy to see why I took over all the planning and maneuvering involved in celebrating Christmas.

For years I made lists, planned the budget, did the shopping, hiding, wrapping, decorating, baking, cooking, entertaining. I planned and shopped for the Christmas outfits the children would wear to holiday festivities and school and church programs. I addressed the cards, and arranged for the family photos to enclose.

Not wanting to focus only on the secular celebration, I made sure we lit advent candles, prayed and sang advent songs preparing for the holy day. We planned works of charity, and shopped for needy.

Then there was the balancing act of making sure I had spent the same amount of money on each of the kids, and that they each had the same number of packages to open. And I had all that angst about “Is it enough? Is it too much? Am I spoiling the kids? Are they getting as much as their friends? Am I being too materialistic?” I was driving myself crazy, but I couldn’t stop.

Two decades later I still felt compelled to do it all, in spite of the fact that our family had grown to include in-laws, nieces and nephews, in spite of the fact that my siblings and their gracious spouses had hosted delightful holiday celebrations. Years of practice convinced me that if I didn’t perfectly execute an every-growing list of holiday-related tasks, Christmas wouldn’t happen. After all, I AM THE MOM.

Then, it happened: Christmas 2006. I just didn’t feel the holiday mood. Our youngest, Kit, was a senior in college. She wouldn’t be home until a few days before Christmas. Our older daughter, Eva, and our son, Sam, were busy with their careers and their own lives. They too would be arriving home a day or two before Christmas.

When the kids were young, we all put the tree up together a couple of weeks before Christmas. Later, there were a few times, Phil and I did it together, a few times I did it alone. In 2006, I told Phil, “I just don’t have the Christmas spirit. You’re on your own this time.” Without complaint Phil put up the tree, and it looked just fine!

Little by little as the children became adults, I finally gave up compulsively counting packages and pennies. I still have a budget for Christmas shopping that allots the same amount to each of the family members, but I no longer compare the stacks of presents. I try to choose something that is meaningful to each. So one small step at a time I began relinquishing control of the holiday.

Finally in 2007, I figured it out. I had finally dialed down my expectations of myself for Christmas. As I observed my family preparing for Christmas, I finally realized – they were making Christmas Happen.

From the kitchen, I could hear their excitement as they ran upstairs and downstairs, retrieving gift bags, wrapping paper, tape, and bows, carrying presents from cars or bedrooms to the family room to wrap, to the living room to place them under the tree. They had the “White Christmas” video on television, and they were laughing and conspiring to surprise and delight parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and each other.

They arranged that we would all be able to go to church together on Christmas Eve.

It was such a relief to realize that I had passed the baton (or possibly my saber). I no longer have to single-handedly cause holidays to happen. I’m still THE MOM, but I no longer have to be the Christmas general. I can no more make the holiday happen than the Grinch can prevent it. It seems that Christmas is bigger than the Grinch, bigger than the Christmas general, and even bigger than THE MOM.

Originally published on the 50-Something Moms Blog.